A Brush With Greatness, V1.0

Back in high school, I had a summer job as a starter at the public golf course in Waukegan, Illinois. While Waukegan was once a nice place to grow up in, it's now a crime-ridden haven for cash loan and cellphone stores. But, that's another post. We're here today to talk about celebs. Somehow or another, I've managed to run across quite a few in my time.

I remember working a charity tourney one weekend, which featured several prominant Chicago Bears. The only Bear that I clearly recall, though, is one Noah Jackson. Weighing in at roughly 400 pounds, this no-neck had his quadruple X, yellow Izod (It was 1984!) bursting at the seams.

I mention Mr. Jackson, not because of his exploits on the field, but for the way he was challenging the snackshop staff to keep up with his vacuum-like eating style. He ordered one cheese-burger (fries would only slow him down) and began chomping it down T-Rex style. Mid-bite, he ordered another. Just as he was throwing back the last drops of his beverage, number two arrived. This time, the follow-up was ordered immediately. Numbers three and four soon arrived, only to meet the same fate as the first two. Wiping his mouth on his shirtsleeve, he grunted "I'll be back," and headed out to the back nine. Impressive.

Every year when I see the hotdog eating contest from Coney Island, I think about Jackson and his superior eating ability. I can't remember any of his accomplishments on the field, but I'm certain that I'll never forget the sight of him laying waste to four pounds of rare hamburger in about fifteen minutes.